Fall Brings Changes

It's about time that I do a complete overhaul on my life. I really need to make some positive  changes to help me move forward on the happiness track. I think we all go through periods where we feel like we are just getting by and going through the motions of everyday life; not really making any progress or finding any fulfilment or joy. A few years ago, President Thomas S. Monson, gave a talk that has always stuck but I haven't quite been able to figure out how to do it; it's entitled, "Finding Joy in the Journey". It is a process for me in figuring out just how to find that joy each day. Ironically, I have been given so many tools to find and feel joy and happiness in my life. Afterall, I know I am a child of God, I have a family here who loves me and that I can turn to, I have a strong support from church and a few close friends, I have the scriptures, I can pray. However, at times I still find I struggle in finding happiness despite these wonderful gifts. Sometimes my head just gets filled up with other things that so easily tear me down. Some things I can control and and somethings I cannot.

I have two beautiful sweet and fun little girls who I know I am so blessed to have. Why is it still so hard to just appreciate sometimes and simply smile and enjoy? I find I so easily focus on all the things that need to get done. I am always rushing and running late and therefore become irritable and angry. This is not the person I am. I can do better. When I was a teacher, I was calm and patient. Where did those qualities go? They need to be found.

This past weekend I had an incredible opportunity to go on a Power of Moms retreat held on Lake Winnipesaukee, NH. I was hoping it would give me a new perspective and I must say I got that and more! It is always so refreshing to hear I am not so alone in my struggles as a mother who wants to do the very best I can, but most frequently fall short.  I learned to take a step back, let go of some things and just listen. I was reminded that "I chose this". I chose to be a mother. I chose to stay home and give my children the best that I can. The best that I can is not always saying, "in a minute". My girls need to be heard and listened to. They need those simple small moments of fun. Nothing huge, just small moments throughout the day that help them feel they are loved and valued. I think that is likely to be one of the greatest gifts that I can give them throughout their lives. I don't have to master it all at once, but make small goals one at a time. My favorite quote of the weekend that is becoming a part of me is, "Motherhood is not a chore to endure, but a gift to be cherished". During those moments that my mind gets clouded and I feel like my children are becoming obstacles to getting things done, I remind myself .... a gift to be cherished.